What is the mean of 18th for me?

I had found my life on LOVE.
between people who love me and i loved.
who made me stand up until now!

for my family, and my friends...

now i realize that i got much from them, it's time for me to give 'something to them'

because of them, i can be myself just like now.
now my job is to be rich people.
rich knowledge,
rich ability,
rich money,
and rich MORAL.

that's all that i can give to my family and my friends!

LOST-LOOSE-and-LOSTagain

LOST (part 1)
Saturday, November 14th 2009

i watched the NIDJI's concert in eks-batalyon yard Cilacap.
i got there on 4 in the afternoon with my lovely bro. (who else?!)
So good... NIDJI HOLIC Cilacap!!!!!!!!!

We were dance and dance crazyly, and wetly,
until we realize something: My handphone was LOST!
so, i talk to my bro with my panic feeling, and he said, "relax... just take it easy..."

ok, the first thing i'm sorry was that i didn't follow my brother said.
he asked me not to went to the front of stage, but i still went there...
until i lost something from my mom that actually i should take care of it... :-(

mamaz helped me to get the new phone number and still trying to contact my old one,
but no result.
so i must let my phone go away...

LOOSE
Sunday, November 15th 2009

that was my little baby bro's birthday, but i might go to Purwokerto
joined THE QUICK QUIZ COMPETITION in STAIN campus Purwokerto
The model of the tes was TOEFL.
actually i just did what i could do there.
but i still tried, tried, and tried.
thought, thought, and thought.
and finally, me and two of my junior classmate just could hope, hope, and hope.

and we got:
Tatik Fariha XII Ak: 24th
Nima Muniru XI Ap: 59th
Rizky Septyana X Pj: 53th
Of 79 contestant of Senior High School and College among eks-karesidenan Banyumas.

the 1st, 2nd, and 3rd winner was gotten from SMAN 2 Purwokerto.
And the 4th was from UNSOED Purwokerto.
all of them would have a debate contest on semifinal with the winners from the first contest which is held in Purbalingga.

now, back to us.
this is what we called LOOSE!

our teacher, Mr. Panut said, "the most important thing is we have tried to make some achievement. Win or loose is just the effect."

ok, we are disappointed, but it make us realize about our ability did the TOEFL test.
and we would try for the next TOEIC test on the end of November.

LOST (part 2)
Still on Sunday afternoon, November 15th 2009

hang out to MORO Purwokerto.
had a fast food lunch wiht my friends,
bought tamiya for my baby's birthday,
and over on 4 in the afternoon.

took a taxi to Purwokerto terminal, and waiting the bus to Cilacap.
the fact is: REALLY SUCK! we lost the bus which went to Cilacap terminal directly.
so we might take the other of which route through Buntu.
this was the beginning of our LOST trough Purwokerto-Buntu-Cilacap

SUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK!!!!!!!!!!
we arrived in Buntu on 6 o'clock.

Thayank, pick me up...
i miss Cilacap...

Become stezz!!!

now i have a hard stezz. a lot of work must be done on time and maximal. actually i like become an active person, but it's really pressed me down.
1 national examination
2 quick quiz
3 accounting theory ang practice examination
4 STAN selection
God, help me....
Give me a succesfull in everything i do and everything i hope for....

CILACAP ITU...

Kapur putih yang pucat terasa penuh warna
Dan pelangi yang enggan datang pun berbinar
Kertas putih yang pudar tertulis seribu kata
Kan ku ungkap semua yang sedang ku rasa
Dengarkanlah kata hatiku
Bahwa ku ingin untuk tetap disini
Tak perlulah aku keliling dunia
Biarkan ku disini
Tak perlulah aku keliling dunia
Karna ku tak mau jauh darimu
Dunia boleh tertawa melihatku bahagia
Kembalikan tempat yang kau anggap tak biasa
Biarkanlah aku bernyanyi
Berlari berputar menari disini
Tak perlulah aku keliling dunia
Tak perlulah aku keliling dunia
karna kau disini
Tak perlulah aku keliling dunia
Kaulah segalanya bagiku

aku keliling dunia
Kaulah segalanya bagikuu

senyum di Teluk Penyu
dan yang pasti cilacap itu "PENUH SENYUMAN"

I'm Full Of Hope Right Now!!!

3 days before i go to Cilacap..

i begin to accept all this reality
now.. i just can say:
THANKS GOD I CAN GATHER WITH MY FAMILY AGAIN...

i just realize that..
that a lot of people who love me so much are waiting for me over there...!
i will do my best there!
i wanna make my parents happy..
wkwkwkwk.. (I'm a good person, aren't i?)

so, i'm waiting for my brother pick me up.
i'll go at Monday, July 6th 2009

see you malang!!!!
i love you, mom, dad...

See You...

i don't know
it's hard for me..
all this complicated mechanism here make me sure that i must GET OUT from here!!!

whatever i do, it's just like i never be good enough for my family.
they always think that i must be like what they want, without give me chance to show who am i actually...!!!
SUCK!!

i will go 'there'..
cilacap maybe
maybe i will get a better family there..
a better education there..
a better future there..
and of course some new friend, who never be better than i had here!!!

but, every time i told this,
there's always the TEARS...
and i hate when i know they wept..

now i know that i never loose all my best friend.
all of them is the best in my heart.

weci
miss. bound
miss. Strezz
romo
mr. yu
mr. iis
mr. agus
mom far
jongos
nigrum
adek2 kelas 1 english club
sovy
luluk
uut
asaku!
arseka!
himpas'k!

all of them!!!

i love you..
and i hope i can stay here...
for you all...

i wish i'd stayed here..

"LEARN..."

learn...
to accept the unfairness..
to understand my friend..
to be unselfish..
to be happy together..
to appreciate what i've gotten now..

my friend said:

If you stand for a reason, be prepared to stand alone like a tree. And if you fall down on the ground, fall as a seed that grows back to fight again
ZAHID ANJUM BALOCH