See You...

i don't know
it's hard for me..
all this complicated mechanism here make me sure that i must GET OUT from here!!!

whatever i do, it's just like i never be good enough for my family.
they always think that i must be like what they want, without give me chance to show who am i actually...!!!
SUCK!!

i will go 'there'..
cilacap maybe
maybe i will get a better family there..
a better education there..
a better future there..
and of course some new friend, who never be better than i had here!!!

but, every time i told this,
there's always the TEARS...
and i hate when i know they wept..

now i know that i never loose all my best friend.
all of them is the best in my heart.

weci
miss. bound
miss. Strezz
romo
mr. yu
mr. iis
mr. agus
mom far
jongos
nigrum
adek2 kelas 1 english club
sovy
luluk
uut
asaku!
arseka!
himpas'k!

all of them!!!

i love you..
and i hope i can stay here...
for you all...

i wish i'd stayed here..

"LEARN..."

learn...
to accept the unfairness..
to understand my friend..
to be unselfish..
to be happy together..
to appreciate what i've gotten now..

my friend said:

If you stand for a reason, be prepared to stand alone like a tree. And if you fall down on the ground, fall as a seed that grows back to fight again
ZAHID ANJUM BALOCH

Enjoy Ajah!!!

i've passed my final examination!!!!
hua hua hua... merdeka!!!!
some subject.. mmm... i hope the best!! heheh..:-)

so, tadi ujian terakhir buat kenaikan kelas ini...
habis ini udah mau kelas XI heheh..
n hari ini aku ujian langsung 6 mata pelajaran! busyett!! gilaaa!!!

habis tu, aku, miss bound, ama miss. strezz maen2.
1 beli cilok di depan skul. (ngirit booo)
2 beli jajan di cak hadi
3. beli dawet di depan kawedanan
4. makan bareng di trotoar depan kawedanan, ngemper di bawah pohon, ngeliatin mobil2 lewat, orang pacaran, ampe orang2 yang memandang kami "aneh". hehe.. emang agak aneh sih...

i enjoy banget my life here!!
today!!

n percaya gak nih uangku habis tinggal 1000 perak n tak buat k warnet posting blog ini...

klo kehabisan duit gimana yach...

ah let it flow!!
gila2an ajah.
yang penting life is never flat!! haha...

My Life Become GJ

GAK JELASSS!!!

that's what i feel now in my life.

my exam was so mess..

my love story was very complicated..
and i got someone new..
and i'm very confused..
and i miss my ex-boyfriend..

my family don't care anymore about me..

i begin feel that i loose my best friend one by one..

and i take a part of another persons problem which is actually i should not take a part on it.

and i'm walk alone now..

there's a big hole on my heart now!

Please don't BLAME me anymore!

please don't! don't blame me..
and don't make me frustration,
all the nightmare you had given to me is ENOUGH!

i know about that, i won't forget it all my life!
the effect is too hurt me so deep that i cannot heal it at all..
i just need you to let me smile, please..

and deep inside my heart, i don't wanna be blamed,
because i don't mean to do that,
but why all the people think that all this sucking fact is my fault?
why?

please don't!

and don't take me out from here!

Why did you come to me?

i don't need you!
this all is enough for me,
i had my friends, i had my family, and i had my cats.
so i didn't need you anymore!! right!!

now i just wanna SMILE.
no more problem because of love!

like i often said before, i just wanna appreciate what i've gotten now, HERE!
because i don't wanna loose anything anymore!

you know? i still can alive without you.
you made me too confuse because of your action!
and i realize now that i don't need you to be happy.
the most hurt fact is: YOU DON'T GIVE ME ANYTHING!!
just think about that!

so, if i said before that i hate the place where i belong,
it was totally wrong!
i loved to be here while i still can be here...

Stuck in here..

this all is for MYSELF, who cannot deny all the situation,

who really stupid by still keep in silent under all the fucking complicated mechanism,

who cannot do anything else..